Sex On The Beach - Sizzle Turns To Fizzle

Sex On The Beach never fails to make me smile. A passionate romp on a secluded stretch of beach with someone you fancy wildly may sound terribly appealing at a glance, but the truth of the matter is, SOTB is simply overrated. Sand isn’t all that sexy up close, and close encounters aren’t nearly as cool – or as hot – as they are made out to be in the movies and popular pulp fiction.

You find out for yourself, first hand, just how gritty and uncomfortable sand-on-skin contact can be, and how sandfly bites itch like crazy. Also, nobody tells you to check out the weather forecast, even though weather conditions are important and really should be taken into account, especially in our thunderstorm-prone tropics where sudden showers leave you drenched like a sodden rat in a matter of seconds. 

So it was that my beloved and I gave up the attempt at a sizzling sandy interlude one distant, balmy night in Bali. One minute, we were strolling hand in hand, admiring the brilliant full moon, waves lapping gently at our feet. The next minute, we were sprinting for shelter as fast as we could, still hand in hand, literally running away from fierce lightning and pouring rain. 

Fast forward a couple of years and two kids later, hubby and I dream of a romantic getaway sans kids – to a pampering resort with great views, good food and sandy beaches. Lightning doesn’t strike twice, the saying goes. We could revisit the scene, so to speak. That is, if we can tear ourselves away from the simple, mindless delights of 24-hour room service and uninterrupted movies-on-demand. 

Then again, there’s no need to venture that far for a sandsational experience. We live in the east, with the nearest beach barely a 5-minute drive away. All we need is a picnic basket and a soft comfy mat, clear skies and soft moonlight And a tarpaulin tent for cover, in case of hostile weather. We just might give it another go – if we can stop laughing long enough to try. 

by lk